[Fake Marketing News] Local Country Station Keeps “New” In Name For Fourth Consecutive Year

Local radio station KMLE “Camel Country 108” has decided to continue on with the “New Country, New Camel” theme for yet another year.

Trying to shake things up in an intensely competitive radio market, KMLE originally trotted out “new” in 2012 and just never bothered to change it out. “Frankly we just forgot at first. Then finally it was brought up over donuts in a staff meeting one morning in 2014 but no one came up with anything better so we just decided to ride it out. We would have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for you meddling kids,” said station GM Jane Pasco, going into full Scooby-Doo mode.

According to Pasco, the use of the word “New” as a prefix is somewhat misleading and not entirely true. “Sure we did change our morning talent to a couple new personalities like back in 2012 but other than that, we’ve kept everything exactly intact. We still play pretty much the same 13 songs in heavy rotation and once in a while mix in that one incredibly dorky Brad Paisley song about the ticks.”

Asked if the “new” label had helped stop the exodus of listeners opting for 96.3 Real Country and 97.9’s Holmberg’s Morning Sickness, Pasco evaded the issue and ended the interview. “Excuse me but I need to take this call from Peoria Ford. They’re doing a giant tent event this weekend and might want to buy some more spots to make sure everyone in our DMA knows they can now buy the same vehicles as last weekend but this time under a tent. It’s a new strategy for them even though some dealership has a tent event pretty much once a month.”